Bagel Lovers Anonymous

49,921 notes

How I imagine it went down

C.S. Lewis:
I made you a character in my book!
J.R.R. Tolkien:
OMG me too!
You're the man who created the wardrobe that leads to Narnia!
Who am I?
A tree
But, like, a cool tree

181,407 notes



one time when I was about four, the 10 year old neighbour boys attacked me with water guns and when I ran away and told my mom she gave me the hose and set it to pressure wash and basically told me to finish what they started  

update: when I told my mom about this post she told me that the boys actually ran to their mom to tell on me and their mom told them that they deserved it because they started the fight and let me continue to pressure wash her backyard and children

(via m4ge)

399,351 notes


no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit

(via crystallized-teardrops)